Indigo
keep trying to fill the space
between cigarette breaks
with whatever makes you feel
alive and I’ll be there carving
my name into the bricks
pretending to be sober enough
to take you at your word.
I know everything that made
you feel lighter tonight
will weigh much more
in the morning so for now
pour us another drink and revel
in how it makes you feel
atmospheric. like you could
float up amongst the stars
and see everyone you turned
away winking back at you
saying it’s okay to be detached
as long as you sing pretty
songs about it afterwards.
Violet
I keep returning to these
same bricks where I carved
my name months ago,
fingertips dancing against
the mortar and cigarette smoke
laughing in my lungs.
I haven’t been drunk since
and god I miss not missing anyone.
time is an unwieldy planet
and I wonder
do you still feel atmospheric?
everything weighs so much more
in the morning and I’ve learned
what comes after indigo
is nothing but darkness
despite what the rainbow
promises. I had never seen
so many colors before.
I had no idea how quickly
they would fade.
Caroline Lazarova graduated from the University of Maine at Farmington and recently spent four years teaching English in western Bulgaria. She now lives and writes in Saint Paul, Minnesota. You can find her work in Leavings Lit, Idle Ink, and Clay Literary.