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Two Poems by Caroline Lazarova


keep trying to fill the space

between cigarette breaks

with whatever makes you feel

alive and I’ll be there carving

my name into the bricks

pretending to be sober enough

to take you at your word.

I know everything that made

you feel lighter tonight

will weigh much more

in the morning so for now

pour us another drink and revel

in how it makes you feel

atmospheric. like you could

float up amongst the stars

and see everyone you turned

away winking back at you

saying it’s okay to be detached

as long as you sing pretty

songs about it afterwards.


I keep returning to these

same bricks where I carved

my name months ago,

fingertips dancing against

the mortar and cigarette smoke

laughing in my lungs.

I haven’t been drunk since

and god I miss not missing anyone.

time is an unwieldy planet

and I wonder

do you still feel atmospheric?

everything weighs so much more

in the morning and I’ve learned

what comes after indigo

is nothing but darkness

despite what the rainbow

promises. I had never seen

so many colors before.

I had no idea how quickly

they would fade.


Caroline Lazarova graduated from the University of Maine at Farmington and recently spent four years teaching English in western Bulgaria. She now lives and writes in Saint Paul, Minnesota. You can find her work in Leavings Lit, Idle Ink, and Clay Literary.

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